Friday 20 September 2024

Thought Picnic: Tough love is loving yourself

Get a good perspective

We can find many excuses for all life's misfortunes and spin narratives that make the most intriguing tale of woes. Yet, one might hazard the thought that whatever we have experienced pales in significance to what others might be suffering. That is usually the case.

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” Helen Keller.

That sense that the world owes us something we thought we should have had but never got, the feeling that no one is bothered about you because you have inadvertently become self-serving, self-centred, and selfish, magnifying your situation to gain undue prominence that the world even begins to revolve around you.

Assume some responsibility

You take every opportunity to blame everyone and everything but yourself. You were not loved like you should be loved, you never heard anyone say they were proud of you, and you fill your world with the misery you have created around you believing no one else cares.

No one likely cares about you because you have contributed nothing to foster the relationships that matter, taking only and giving back nothing. Those who know you have been shy of telling you the truth because you live in a Utopian mirage, and you hope it is the reality it never will become, your indulgence giving vent to your own wild delusions and self-deception.

Just love yourself

Alright, you were not loved; shit happens, then you were never commended; not everything is praiseworthy, and the way you live might not be pleasing to many; get over it and get over yourself.

What are you doing for yourself? You can start by loving yourself enough to not care whether you are loved by another or not. Like the song "The Greatest Love of All" says, "Learning to love yourself; it is the greatest love of all." Let's try that as everyone else is quite happily living their own lives regardless of whether you exist.

You have to give yourself the chance to just love yourself better and a little more and forget the past of not being loved.

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