That unwelcome discomfort from youth came visiting today

A familiar and rotten feeling

To date, I have never had a proper diagnosis, it is something I have suffered from juvenile times that I need to find a stop to. The stomach/abdominal pain that comes in waves with little in terms of relief can continue for up to a day. Usually starting early in the morning and continuing with moments of respite throughout the day.

Blog - I remember this tummy ache – (October 2007)

Blog - The pain is a long story – (September 2023)

It can be exhausting and the most I can do in terms of remedy is lie on my belly cushioned over a soft pillow and drink lots of sweet and milky tea. This might be accompanied by bowel movement or vomiting, which it was today, but it just adds to the discomfort of it all.

The thoughts that ran through my mind as I writhed with pain in my bedroom midmorning without the appetite for any ingestion even of pain relief, I would hate to consider again. I seem to have learnt to endure the pain with the hope it soon subsides.

The need for more rest

As I write this blog, even though I believe the worst of it is over, the muscles of my stomach seem to retain a memory of the suffering I endured with a foreboding that it might creep on me again. Thankfully, the pain associated with my waterworks post-radiotherapy has literally dissipated.

When I lay on the sofa in the living room, I passed the time away with old playbacks on YouTube of The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Between the grimaces of pain and the comfort that interspersed today's main event, I did not even notice that we had some rain.

I think I’ll be fine for the rest of the day. There was no indicator as to why this ailment took hold today. I am glad it is over, and it is evident that for all the strength that I think I have regained in my first week of recuperation, I really do need as much rest as I can get, and I have not got nearly as much as I need, so far.

Feeling the warmth of a community church

Decisions for the good or the bad

We had a decision to make about where to attend a church service today without making the mistake of visiting a church with a self-absorbed worship team entertaining a congregation that was failed out of not being spiritually fed. At least that was our impression of the Hillsong Church in June.

We dared think of returning hoping that our first attendance was an off day, but we wrote to both the Cape Town campus and the mother church in Australia, and we received neither an acknowledgement nor a response. We had better go to a place where they are courteous and welcoming.

Blog - Between haughty Hillsong and bounty biltong

Planning without yawning

From Muizenberg to the St. George’s Cathedral, quite unlikely; when getting Brian out of bed on a Sunday morning is a herculean task at best, just perish the thought. So, I did a survey of churches in Muizenberg and two evangelical churches caught my interest, small, out-of-city, new, and growing. We set our minds on staying in Muizenberg.

It would have been a 45-minute walk or thereabouts, but we called an Uber taxicab to convey us to the Main Road of which there might be hundreds in South Africa, we had to be specific before I repeated the mistake of finding myself 33 kilometres from where I intended in Johannesburg, some 9 years ago.

Welcoming warmth and feeling

On arrival, we saw the church flagpole, but unsure of ourselves, we waited outside before someone came to the door. They were friendly and welcoming, and as she invited us inside, introductions followed. They all came to welcome and greet us.

Interest and engagement were evident in a small community church that espoused our Pentecostal beliefs. It was there that we learnt that a priest we knew at St. George’s Cathedral, the cousin of a congregant, had passed away last year.

As we were similarly attired, they wondered if we were band or choir members, we tend to turn heads on Sundays. I said we were partners, but they heard brothers even as I repeated myself. We eventually acquiesced to whatever they wanted to identify us as.

Simple yet impactful

It was low-key, intimate, and friendly. I was called forward to be prayed for, and the sermon was informal and easy-going with contributions from other members of the congregation. I began wilting later in the service but survived to the end before needing the use of the gents.

I took the offer of rooibos tea which I rarely have, sweetened without milk, it tasted good enough, I however do not intend to form a habit of it. We had a splendid time at church before walking back home. We will probably be returning next Sunday.

Companions in travel

Assistance is quite helpful

Those chance encounters with strangers and their stories. Too often we see people on the surface, with no inkling of who they are. Dare we strike up a conversation with them that leads to deep discoveries of similarities and differences between us?

For instance, I used customer assistance services for my trip to Cape Town. Someone to cater for getting me from the check-in counter to the aircraft and back through customs to the arrival terminal by wheelchair or a motorised buggy.

In Manchester, after the security check, I was left in a waiting area until my gate was shown. Soon, an elderly couple arrived, the husband needing a bit more help than his wife. She was amiable and friendly as he made for the gents.

Everyday interesting people

They had lived in Africa for more than 40 years, mainly in Namibia where he was an engineer, and she was in community development. They were going to Cape Town via Doha, arriving in Cape Town about 4 hours before I do.

As the conversation shifted to why we needed assistance, their son had made all the travel arrangements ensuring both his parents had the assisted service. Two years before she had open heart surgery and was put back together with 4 staples and glue.

She volunteered he had a non-cancerous enlarged prostate along with mobility issues and the onset of dementia. They were looking forward to their holidays, full of life and happiness. As we parted ways when I was picked up for the departure gate, we wistfully thought this might not be our last encounter.

I saw them later as they were being taken to their flight and we waved to each other. It might be a concert or wine estate where we'll drink a toast to good health.

The choices we make

Then sat beside me on my flight to Cape Town, I spoke to a lady, resident in Belgium but returning to South Africa to see her family. Alluding to my just completing treatment for cancer, she said she was going for surgery in a few weeks.

You would never have thought, but behind every facade is a world of stories with a touch of humanity. I used my experience to encourage her. She had made treatment choices to protect her quality of life. Every motivation is valid. I elected for radiotherapy over surgery to preserve urinary and sexual function.

With cancer, it is important to have all the useful information to make informed choices. The more pertinent thing: regardless of what people suffer, they go out and live their lives to the fullest.

From arrest to rest

A necessary situation

To think it was exactly two months ago that I walked into the Christie Hospital to begin 20 sessions of hypofractionated radiotherapy to treat malignant prostate cancer.

Until then, I felt nothing apart from what the blood work told us that further investigation revealed. I could have had a year totally oblivious of a growth in a delicate part of my anatomy that could be a cause of serious illness and death.

All through treatment that happened over 4 weeks of weekdays, I barely slowed down activity, though, as fatigue and other issues took hold, I made adjustments.

A betraying voice

This was brought home to me when I attended a conference having apologised for my low energy levels affecting the strength of my voice. Most listeners would have wondered why a sick man is pushing himself so hard. One sought out the management to raise their concerns.

I preferred to have some occupation rather than a distraction; I was accommodated even as others suggested I take time off.

The voice rarely improved; it bears the hallmarks of extreme exhaustion, yet, it is my voice, my tool of expression, slightly battered by resonant. Let me not suggest that it is indefatigable because fatigue has a role in moderating the sound.

Giving due consideration

Radiotherapy is painless and by that reckoning may seem harmless too. The havoc it has wreaked on my waterworks is one I hope to put behind me, along with the urgency that hits me when I need to map a route that offers immediate use of conveniences or sit at home.

The other consideration is finding the strength to do the simple things. It is five weeks since the end of treatment. The cancer is blasted but the body is far from a good state of recovery.

The decision to embark on a journey for the opportunity to access love and care was attacked from many quarters as much as others saw the need for it.

I made a determination after realising I needed to give myself both the time and the rest to recover, not sitting alone in cold Manchester but in the warmth of Cape Town with Brian.

Accepting my vulnerability

The discomfort of being carted around airports in a wheelchair in the knowledge that I truly am not fit enough to do the things I did without concern, before September is that independent streak denying my vulnerability.

However, I know how having a Radar key to access disabled toilets has prevented me from wetting myself the many times I have been out. This is all temporary.

I will get better, fully regain my strength and vigour, and then receive the all-clear assessment in April. What I need to tell myself is I need both the time and the rest to get well. Without that, I arrest my recovery.

To be loved in return

Nat King Cole, Nature Boy

Lifted beyond circumstances

I am like that nature boy who has wandered very far, very far, over land and sea. Whether I have acquired the wisdom of the boy, I cannot say. However, in life, I have learnt a lot about myself and about people.

The world has its issues and strangeness, much of which can affect us, the forces of nature sometimes unrelenting, the foolishness of politics with unintended consequences, and the unreasonableness of leaders bringing war, suffering, migration, and worse upon others.

Maybe we seek to isolate or insulate ourselves from these things, but there is only so much we can do with the limited resources we have to deploy in situations and circumstances we cannot control.

To the earthbound, the horizons are low. What we perceive through our senses can delude us, leaving us vulnerable to error and erroneous judgment. We must transcend these limitations for a dimension first created by imagination and brought into reality by what we speak.

Faith that assures

This is what undergirds my situation, I find inspiration in the words of the Christian God and begin a journey to places I could never have imagined possible. My story is not set in the travails of many aspects of adversity I have experienced, but in the blessings and triumphs that have put the past into the shade.

There are things I could not have planned for; grace and providence laid out paths that when I look back, I am amazed at how things have not only worked out for the good but have become testimonies of wonder because I refused to be moved by the storms that rage around to distract from purpose and determination.

As I embark on a time for rest and recuperation, I see the joy of living, the wonder of love, the beauty of peace, and the rejuvenation of spirit, soul, and body.

Beyond that, I hear the words of the nature boy:

The greatest thing,
You'll ever learn,
Is just to love,
And be loved in return.

Nickel Blogs - Celebrating 21 years of blogging

How expression has changed

In a month, my blog will have been running for 21 years. Eleven years ago, on the tenth anniversary of starting this blog, I invited friends and readers to contribute blogs to commemorate the occasion.

It was a different time and age; much has happened in a decade. There are hardly any personal blogs or many with a prolific output like there were back then. That is not because we do not have stories to tell. The medium and the model has changed.

It is all about content and engagement, hobbies that have become earners too. We are in the era of TikTok and skits, everything to titillate the senses for a few seconds you are lucky to grab the attention of that fleeting patron who is already unimpressed before you can make an impression.

Something for Nickel Blogs

Even as the thought of running another Your Blog On My Blog party seems to verge on wishful thinking, one can only try. This is an invitation to anyone who has ever found anything interesting on my blog, to write on any topic of interest to them to share in the celebration of this landmark occasion.

In tradition, brass and nickel are associated with the 21^st anniversary; I prefer nickel over brass. I might call this series the Nickel Blogs, but better ideas might come. The countdown has begun, and I’m excited.

Can this happen again?

The last time around I was honoured with 35 contributions, each published daily over 5 weeks. Looking back, some contributors have even dropped off Twitter. It might rekindle old friendships and acquaintances too. Some blogs still get readers today, and I might also get newly interested people.

Please contact me if you want to write a blog for my Nickel Blogs. Thank you for your readership, patronage, interest, and custom.

Decade Blogs - Roundup V - All the 35 Blogs and Thanks - December 2013/January 2014

Martinair: Memories of returning to work after cancer

One man’s passing and my story

A waking moment to attend to a nature call, then a brief glance at my phone to find that J. Martin Schröder had passed on early last month at the age of 93.

The obituary I read in the Telegraph filled in many gaps in my knowledge of the man who I never met but whose company on the verge of being absorbed by another played a significant role in my life. [The Telegraph: J Martin Schröder, enterprising Dutch pilot who built Europe’s first budget airline]

In early 2010, it was a dauntingly impossible task to write a resume with a one-year gap for jobs I used to be able to cherry pick for highly remunerated contract rates. Times when I could take a month or two off work to do other things were a luxury I could no longer afford.

Have you a job for me?

In the aftermath of the failure of my health and treatment for cancer, I had received a grace period from my creditors and despite the generous welfare payments I eventually applied for, 8 months later than I should have because I was unaware of my entitlements in the Netherlands, I was ready to get back to work even though I barely had the strength for any activity.

I had this idea to place a notice on LinkedIn explaining my situation to my network and out of it came an opening, a young colleague I worked with a few years before contacted me saying the job is not what I normally do but I could be useful for the project his recruiting outfit was getting personnel for. If only I had an enterprising business head like him, he worked on both sides of the game.

A different engagement

I attended an interview, and I cannot say it was my perspicacity that got me the role, I was a shadow of myself in many ways, but I was given the opportunity, there and then.

I got into the activity; it was an IP Renumbering project with Martinair the airline and cargo company. Their IT infrastructure had IP Address ranges that overlapped with that of KLM, all their systems needed to be reconfigured for the absorption into the broader enterprise.

My first 5 days at work totally knocked me out, I was too tired to get any rest, I was more exhausted than I had ever felt before, that it immediately dawned on me, that I was everything but superhuman, I needed to slow things down. In the process, I was able to negotiate a 4-day week with Wednesdays off.

The project was canned after 2 months and resurrected a month after to the end of the year. It gave me a big break and I am forever grateful to the many colleagues who accommodated my issues through the project. It was my last job before I left the Netherlands to return to the UK.

Grateful for the opportunity

That stint at Martinair meant I could notch up another industry in my career profile and to think I had worked so close to Amsterdam Schiphol Airport in Hoofddorp and Schiphol-Rijk for many years without being in that industry.

I however maintain my links with the Netherlands through the Flying Blue loyalty scheme as I mainly fly with Air France-KLM except where they do not serve the intended route.

I cannot think of what I would have done if Martinair, the dream and enterprise founded by J Martin Schröder, did not have a job going. So many memories and some enduring friendships too. I acknowledge them and to the great man and pioneer in the aviation industry, may his soul rest in peace.