Lift me down

Another email needing some airing

We get all sorts of emails in the office and many just make you want to throw your system out of the window in rage or disgust when you get copied in on stupid power-plays which do everything to increase your stress levels and force you to take sick leave.

Now, the text below came in an email we received from our Facilities Management Department this morning, something to do with our lifts.

The Notice - Elevators

As you all have noticed, the elevators in the main office are regularly 'under repair'.

Partly this is due to intensified heavy-duty use because of the Great Place renovation project: heavy loads are transported via the elevators which has its impact on the machinery.

Another reason of frequent defects is the irregular handling of the elevator doors in order to keep them open. Elevator doors close and open automatically. The doors can also be kept open manually by pushing the <<>> button inside the elevator, or by breaking the infrared door-beam. An automatic door should never be kept open by manual force: doors should not be forcedly kept open, they should not be touched at all.

Finally the increased frequency of the repair of the elevators in the Atrium is related to excessive use (they are even used for one floor up or down), old age and wear & tear. These elevators are operational since 1987 when the building was opened, and without drastic measures we can no longer guarantee a smooth and flawless running for a long period.

For all these reasons it has been decided to completely replace the elevator engines. We are about to start the tender process to select new engines which we hope to have installed in the second half of this year.

Sorry for the inconvenience - although not using the elevators has various environmental, physical and economical benefits.

So this means

The lifts would be out of order for a while whilst they arrange for someone to try and fix it, meanwhile, we can reduce our carbon footprint but using the spiral staircase that has those going up using the thinner part of the steps.

We should however feel good because this means we are becoming green-conscious, and for those of us who use canes, we have just been whipped for trying to make our lives easier.

Meanwhile, here I am pushing the hail button and it looks like I am standing for England.