Gaol Couture by Paris

One gets driven

Aspects of my upbringing except me from driving such that if opportunity does come to own a car, it would most likely be one that comes standard with a chauffeur, choices are few and that costs a lot of money.

Thankfully, one has had no need to play a lottery of one of three pedals and shift the gears such that the car remains stationary at an intersection before lurching forward into the grand dame's car in front; one is satisfied with the mix of metro, tram, train, taxi and air travel services around Europe.

As it stands, I cannot be caught for driving under the influence and I have never been done for any traffic infringement - even in Amsterdam, when on my bicycle I stop at the lights and always have lights on from dusk.

The drunken roads to prison

Roads are a very public place - moot point - there is a civic responsibility incumbent on being a road user, soberness, alertness, consideration and patience but many seem to get away with the mindless use of a mobile phone whiles in traffic having had a drink or two with utter disregard for the safety of both themselves and others - if caught, such people should have visited upon them, the full weight of the law.

In some lands, the penalties include license endorsements/suspension, hefty fines or imprisonment, some culprits attract all that as we read of a hotel heiress who having been caught drunk in charge of a vehicle and put on probation with a license suspension then was done for speeding and driving at speed with her lights off.

You must walk this way

It is now the accepted rite of passage for rich young people to find happiness in a pill downed with copious amounts of alcohol as their lascivious existence becomes the livelihood of the paparazzi and scoop chasers some of whom they engaged to rise to fame in the hedonistic rags called glossy celebrity magazines.

A fast car, a few expensive drugs and the immediacy of sex almost always involves rehab, a brush with the law, a day or two in court and the fashionable sojourn at the pleasure of the government of the day, somehow, daddy can no more pay the price of keeping the whole sorry tale out of the public domain anymore.

New careers for others

Upon that, you find the feeders, public prosecutors in the guise of doing their job, redoubling efforts to ensure that the privileged do not escape the letter of the law or dare I say, the opportunity to embellish the résumé with - "I put a rich kid in jail" with the flurry and the gamut of press interest and photo opportunities that would enhance the career of any ambulance chaser.

City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo said Hilton is being treated the same as anyone else, indeed, your village rag might just summon the front-page headline - Rocky ride for Paris, they might even improve on it; our boy has done well. This is just speculation, Rocky is beyond reproach, he is only doing his job.

Is this news?

My news spectrum has been invaded with news of a rich nonentity going to jail for flouting her probation, it happens everyday, so why is this taking over the headlines?

Paris Hilton would be making an appearance at the Los Angeles Country jail where she would be rehabilitated for 45 days, paying her dues to community in protected custody for her safety - read solitary confinement - reserved for special cases.

Crime does pay

Contrast this with the other celebrity who had to do 5 days community service with the sanitary department in New York - Naomi Campbell - she made her appearances a stunning fashion show by clothes-horsing over £236,000 of couture, it was a mockery of the whole crime and punishment model (excuse the pun).

Naomi Campbell on Day 1 to Day 4 appearing for community service.

© The New York Times - Peter Foley/European Pressphoto Agency (Monday); Bryan Gedder/Getty Images (Tuesday and Wednesday); Lucas Jackson/Reuters

You only have to view this on the Crime Does Pay slideshow in the Telegraph. Ms Hilton might not be afforded a Dolce & Gabbana couture evening gown worth about £50,000 as part of her prison wear but she can at the end of her visit put her hand to a new venture - Gaol Couture by Paris - it would be a sure hit, youth fashion today is no better than what you will find worn in prison, anyhow.

Naomi Campbell on Day 5

© Reuters - The Daily Telegraph