Stable table tablet

Motion the table

Even I could not believe my presumed luck when I got to table 38 and found it had been occupied by other guests. Either the guests strayed from their allocated seats or the bumbling waiters were about to exceed the bounds of incompetence.

So, I walked back to the entrace to inform the usher that my table had been occupied - like yesterday, I was not believed again, so I was escorted to my table first to confirm that I knew what the number 38 looked like and then when they realised their error the guests were moved to another table a good 20 metres away.

We can assume it wasn´t the guest who strayed but a conspiracy at work to deprecate the quality of my holiday through the seating plans in the dinner restaurant.

I got served still water instead of sparkling water sprained my neck trying to attract the waiter to change the damned thing to what I asked for - easy now.

I love lobsters and I was sat close to the sea food table, but the lobster I saw was sat at the table in front - red as the glow of hot coals, the crustacean (Caucasian) had definitely gotten seriously sun burnt or was in a continuous state of embarrasment.

Then this lady - no lady at all really - barged in to get at the potato wedges and it was obvious she had never been in a kitchen, she struggled with the spoon and after a minute of being observed by everyone literally shaking their heads, she got 2 potato wedges onto her plate - silently, we all felt sorry for her husband.

Our maître d' now averts his gaze when he walks past my table, however, the other waiters are warming up to the fact that they are in the hospitality industry - a good few tourists would have left the island after Christmas, I might find myself asking to be moved from this hotel to one I know really does care about its guests.

Or I just need to take a good chill pill and overlook this part of what is essentially an opportunity to relax and get rejuvenated for the new year.