To all feet big and long

The matter of size

I was in no ape suit nor was I traipsing around some out back, a request revealed that I needed size 46 slippers and there I was under threat of probing analysis.

Jokes and laughter followed as I was told the National Geographic will be called to take me away - I could only wonder why.

There is no saying that there is some sensitivity attached to feet being big rather than long and I do protest almost too vehemently that my feet are long rather than big.

Somehow, people cannot resist the urge to say Bigfoot, thankfully no one has yet said Sasquatch or else it might well be my “big” foot in their mouths and worse.

The little-endian part of this big-endian story is that each of my feet is exactly a foot long leading one to aver that I do really have 2 feet in every truth you can muster apart from the stability such feet give me for my average height of 6 feet or 1.83 meters.

That is not to say those with feet short of feet do not have two feet but stumps, I suppose if you can twiddle your toes you are standing on something and adaptation or evolution allows for the stability you have.

Foot in back

I will not be found foot loose on this matter where I have to do much foot work to ensure my foot does not end in my mouth just because someone somewhere has acquired a foot fetish from knowing my foot size.

Rather than have my foot the butt of silly jokes, I should really put my foot in the backside of the joker and ensure the boot is studded.

The question then is what are long feet good for, if you cannot swim? Answers on a foot stool – Thanks!