Thought Picnic: The Couch Did Not Recline

In the beginning

My meeting with the clinical psychologist started slowly, she had some notes with her taken from previous discussions with other staff but now we had to elicit from the detail the particular, the critical and the general.

My tale which has a trigger in 2002 but brought catastrophic devastation to the world I once knew in the year 2009 with precipitous consequences that trail my survival like a comet in the night sky was once again engaging.

I do not present a demeanour that belies my battle weary existence as other issues loom with the urgency of an emergency which in the right hands can be resolved once they are fully understood.

A whale of a tale

We walked the timeline line of decline, disease, diagnosis, drugs, debt, deprivation, destitution, desperation, depression and death. The summation of disaster that had become the story of life and then the promise of progress and promotion held in the fragility of hopes dashed and rekindled for new change.

We did speak of death because it signalled an understanding of frailty and vulnerability made too palpable by the passing of my partner just 5 days after I left hospital, my voice broke for a moment but the tear ducts kept their waters.

Emergent and urgent

Critically, what we need is new accommodation, some sustenance and then a job, I need to tap into support systems with the help of my medical team and other ancillary staff – there are possibilities.

As the session drew to an end with a preliminary assessment that I did not present any of the classic mental health symptoms, we agreed that one issue that I need to address is one of anticipation, preparation and pre-emption of circumstances requiring urgent and emergency redress.

I guess I have live for the day for too long, I need to consider longer time-spans. That is much food for thought before a whole set of appointments and meetings next week.

Therapy is good and having professional help in that area is always useful.