My sister, my daughter
One strange evening
in a moment of unusual mother and child interaction and that was probably the
first and the last for a long time, my mother called me into her room and told
me in confidence that she was having a baby at 40.
Until that time, my
youngest sibling who is now noticeably obstreperous was already 6 years old.
The arrival of
Oluwafeyike was not particularly auspicious for me, I did not attend the naming
ceremonies of my last two siblings, besides I was a somewhat problem teenager
looking for ways to be away from home and I literally had ceased permanent
residency from the age of 10, this was final by the time I was 19.
The almost 17-year
gap between us, Feyike or 'our little mummy' as we nicknamed her, had her
implicitly as my daughter, though I took no responsibilities at any time to act
as overbearing big brother or 'father'.
Many life issues
Soon, I learnt that
she had health challenges and she was in and out of hospital, something to do with
her kidneys and the body's ability to rid itself of impurities. I was not taken
into confidence about most of this detail, I was just expected to play some
ill-defined part on fuzzy filial affinity.
With time, medicine
and extreme religion on the part of my mother brought some respite, she had
seasons of wellness and occasional relapses.
She as the last child
and I as the first were preoccupations of my mother, God bless her, as we
travelled to temples and grottos, seeing prophets and shamans, engaging in all
sorts of rituals to find solutions to first my psychological health problems
and then my sister's life-threatening physical health issues.
This she did, running
a secondary school, trying a distribution business, raising 6 children and always as it seemed to me, fighting for her
marriage from the moment I noticed I had parents.
Where we are now
As a first child, I
was privileged in many ways, however, it goes without saying that Feyike as a
last child with her attendant condition, was to an extent spoilt.
With a bit of
discipline and common-sense actions, her condition could probably have been
managed, but we are where we are now, with complications of end stage
renal disease and anaemia
that will require a kidney
transplant.
She ideally should be
on dialysis
thrice a week, but we can barely afford it once a week. Without the removal of
waste products and excess water from her blood, we have had a psychotic episode,
difficult to understand until I read up on some of the symptoms of chronic
kidney disease.
My appeal
I having once come
through cancer, I can well appreciate and understand the seriousness and urgency to find a
lasting medical solution to this condition.
Therefore, I am
appealing to you all who read this blog in whatever way you can, to help and
contribute towards the fund for treatment and kidney transplant that Feyike
requires in Nigeria.
The breakdown of
costs are as follows:
We have opened a GoFundMe account to receive donations
towards her treatment, and your generous donations will be greatly appreciated.
She brings love, fun and
joy into our lives and despite her challenges, is well in the prime of her life
at 32.
Thank you for your
help.
With the kindest
regards,
Akin Akintayo.
The accompanying
letter from her medical consultant: