In Nigeria, we've lost to all of them

Losing Things

The thief is an opportunist,
The swindler is cunning,
The armed robber is daring,
The kleptomaniac is audacious.

The thief makes a smash-and-grab,
The swindler wins your confidence,
The armed robber cares nothing for you,
The kleptomaniac doesn’t know you exist.

The thief picks a pocket or two,
The swindler drains your coffers,
The armed robber demands more than they can see,
The kleptomaniac takes all that is there.

The thief places no value on the thing,
The swindler places no value on your trust,
The armed robber places no value on your life,
The kleptomaniac has no values, period.

The thief has hands,
The swindler has wits,
The armed robber has weapons,
The kleptomaniac has lawyers.

The thief is probably petty,
The swindler commits a fraud,
The armed robber is a complete invasion,
The kleptomaniac is always politically connected.

The thief gets lynched,
The swindler gets jailed,
The armed robber gets shot,
The kleptomaniac is untouchable.

The thief begs,
The swindler pleads,
The armed robber dares,
The kleptomaniac boasts.

The thief you know,
The swindler you trust,
The armed robber you fear,
The kleptomaniac you defend.

The thief you catch,
The swindler you snare,
The armed robber you stalk,
The kleptomaniac you love.

The thief might skip with dozens,
The swindler can access millions,
The armed robber runs off with thousands,
The kleptomaniac flaunts in billions.

The thief is a criminal,
The swindler is again cunning,
The armed robber is a brigand,
The kleptomaniac responsible.

In Nigeria,
Here is the deal,
Most laws would nab the thief,
Some sleuths will trail the swindler,
The military will shoot the armed robber,
And we all party with and honour the kleptomaniac.