Love is an urgency in a lifetime of cherished moments

[]

Never grow old in your outlook

Listening to the radio the other day, I chanced upon a conversation with women of a certain age who had decided they would live their lives to the full. I was encouraged by how their youthful thinking honed to acuity by a lifetime of experience gave them a perspective of courage, daring, and adventure.

Even though well above 70, they were looking forward to life, living, happiness, enjoyment, and fulfilment. It reminded me of the couple I bought my apartment from in Amsterdam in 2001. They had lived in Eindhoven for 25 years and as they clocked 70, they bought an apartment off the plan and then came to live in Amsterdam for just over 3 years.

Look for new experiences always

Realising they needed a quieter environment to retire to, they in their mid-70s sold their apartment in Amsterdam and bought an apartment in a riverside nursing home in Arnhem. I was just taken by the youthfulness of that kind of thinking. They could have lived out their days in Eindhoven, but they embarked on an adventure and enriched their lives considerably.

Back to the radio show, one of the ladies in the conversation was Isabel Allende and she said she is always being asked the question, “How do you fall in love at 76?” I believe her answer was, “Like 26, but with a little more urgency.”

I got that message loud and clear, I understood it fully as I have circumstances in my own life where an amazing love has entered my existence and given me a feeling I can never say I have had before.

Live the moments to the fulness

Urgency is not necessarily rushing into things blindly, rather, it is bringing to bear knowledge, experience, understanding, and appreciation. You are at a point where you have clarity about what heretofore you might not have known you were looking for. Much as you can understand the caution and reticence of friends, only you can know if you have found it and when you have, grow it, nurture it and embrace it.

The gift of life we have is there for the moments, it is from the moments that we create a tapestry of life, stories of heart to heart, soul to soul and the unique bond that is obvious to the lovers whilst somewhat invisible, misunderstood or baffling to others. Like in the song at the top of the blog, it says, “People search a lifetime to find what we have.”

For what I have found, whilst for some, the grass might well be greener on the other side, it also hides the snakes better. Yes, I found love, I have put in a little urgency and I am living for the amazing moments we share. Brian is the love of my life.

With a little more urgency,
Quite close to an emergency,
The thoughts do wonder,
As one should well ponder,
If life just happens or it is a chance.

To fall in love is good,
Amongst the things I could,
For chance brought us close,
That I swoon in overdose,
To love that has me in a trance.

With you, I find purpose,
I am ready to see how it goes,
This I seek for a lifetime,
To be together for all time,
For you caught me from the first glance.

Thought Picnic: About being neither there nor near

Everyone's taking control of me,
Seems that the world's got a role for me …
Michael Jackson – Will You Be There (1993) [Lyrics]

[]

Carried along

It was just 25 years ago when I was given two tickets for the Michael Jackson concert at Wembley Stadium by a friend who I had always helped solved solve computer problems without taking a fee.

The first scheduled concert was cancelled, and we were offered refunds on our tickets, but there was no way I would give up the opportunity to see Michael Jackson. Two weeks later, Michael Jackson did come to London, to Wembley Stadium and that remains the best show ever that I have seen.

For all the controversy that has trailed Michael Jackson, I cannot ignore the musicianship he had, the entertainer he was and the songwriting abilities he had.

Being there

Surfing the net from a Tumblr profile that led to the 1998 impromptu performance of Nessum Dorma by Aretha Franklin in the stead of Luciano Pavarotti at the Grammys and a YouTube random playback of related music and tributes to many, I found myself listening to Jennifer Hudson’s rendition of Will You Be There at the funeral service of Michael Jackson and previous to that was Aretha Franklin playing a piano singing I Will Always Love You at Whitney Houston’s funeral.

It was almost a morbid celebration of amazing talent, yet, on my flight back from South Africa and we’ll cover that in another blog, I only listened to the music of the unfortunately departed, first to Barry White, the Aretha Franklin and closing off with Prince.

I was weary

In the weeks that have passed where phantom blogs have been written in my head but most of my social media engagement has been on Instagram feeding Twitter and Facebook with snippets, thoughts and pictures of my wonderful time with Brian, I have wondered about what would inspire my next blog, the last which was full of premonition and uncertainty.

Eventually, as things fell into place, I realised happiness is not exclusive to the other, it can be personally experienced and enjoyed in the company of those you love as you celebrate it to the world.

I’m only human

Yet, I watch as many Friend requests flood my inbox on Facebook from people I barely know to the many I have literally forgotten or cannot deign to remember, as over three decades of no interaction has interspersed what was a fleeting or tenuous relationship at best. Sometimes, I agonise about whether I need to explain myself, the choices I have made that in terms would be radically different from those others have made.

Considering the fact that I could both be nonconformist and rebellious. Strike that! At the risk of repeating myself ad nauseam, my life is uniquely mine, it shadows no one else’s, it finds an example in the broader expression of our humanity. I will play my own chosen role, not one someone else has arrogated to themselves to decide for me out of the need to satisfy some aim, tradition, custom or any other creed. Then, I find some who seek to enter my affairs and begin to control events having never appreciated anything about who I am, what I am, where I am, what my storied existence has been.

You were not there

Let’s put it in the context of the words of the song, nobody has any influence or control whatsoever, if you were not there when the chips were down, the storm raged, hope was literally extinguished, and life seemed to hold no purpose. I have bitten my tongue when what I should have said is, “Mind your own business.”

However, let me assure those who need that assurance, what you see is true and I reviewed my profile on Facebook the other day. “I thought and concluded, do not presume you know me, this is really not a biography, it is guidance.”

View this post on Instagram

18 beautiful days of laughter, of moments to remember as the plans we made in the first week of January became reality in the third week of April. Meeting up in Johannesburg, we flew out together to Cape Town where gardens, capes, winelands, museums, memorials, church and theatre filled each day with purpose. Back to Johannesburg, we returned to some places and visited new places. Now, we return to our homes to plan a new rendezvous, hopefully, not too far in the future, maybe in Europe or back in Africa. I am sad and I am happy, but nothing will stand in the way of the moments, the love, the experiences we shared. I am blessed for the happiness and joy that this companionship has brought me. Each to their own, ours is already shown. #southafrica #capetown #johannesburg #love #moments #memories

A post shared by Akin Akintayo (@instaforakin) on May 5, 2019 at 1:49am PDT