Life in the life of
another
On the trailer for a
new television series, the lady said, “The life I wanted with you, you’re actually having with someone else.” It was an outburst laden with emotional hurt and
betrayal though I am not privy to the backstory of the relationships.
What I could glean
from the snippet of the show was that the man was having an affair with the lady in
question whilst at the same time having a baby with another woman. Whether the
man was aware the lady had put much stock in the relationship to expect more or
her love was unrequited, I could not say, but I can assume there were
possibilities which led to disappointment.
What she said began
to take on a deeper meaning, she was as invested as to think her future was
bright in the relationship and the loss of it left her in regret and hurt, there
would need to be a long passage of time if she would move on from this episode
in her life to find another fulfilling and rewarding relationship with another.
Limits that undermine
our autonomy
Thinking about it,
reminded me of the blog I wrote of the universes of fish tanks, the limits of
environment and circumstance that constrain us in the present depriving us momentarily
or considerably of visions of a better future. The limits constructed around us by
our expectations when unfulfilled emasculate passion and hope.
Worse still is to be
confined within the limits of the limited means, ability and capacity of
another, almost like being enslaved in the prison of the mind of another under
whose control you have found yourself unable to break free and chart your own
course without their permission.
It is a loss of
autonomy and the absence of initiative, the type of bondage we should pray never to be
bound in for longer than it takes for us to realise we have the potential limited
only by our ability to imagine and dream beyond our current or future reality.
Free the people you
can influence
In this, I found I
had a responsibility which I was able to phrase in the following manner, “Be
careful not to frame the world of another in the limits of your own. If you cannot
take another towards their own unlimited potential, you are probably bad for
them.”
Furthermore, be a
channel and watch those who come your way grow. If at any time you realise
another you are with that looks up to you, who you mentor, who you influence, or who you support is
constrained because of whatever you do, say, or espouse; be quick to set them
free and help them go to live wonderfully amazing lives.
This is a rough diamond
of mediation that hopefully in the thinking of others might be refined and cut
into the brilliance of an exclusively exquisite jewel.
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