Akin Akintayo: Men's things

Thursday 12 September 2024

Men's things - XIX

Point to point

I went to The Christie Hospital today with just one concern, a question I only had the wherewithal to ask once I was presented with the situation for observation and experience.

Having had marks tattooed on my skin for the alignment of the radiotherapy beams, rather than allow the transparent film dressings protecting the three tattoo marks to fall off; I used a larger film dressing to keep them in place.

Giving myself an hour to arrive at the hospital, the heavy traffic was beginning to stress me out, but Brian comforted me with the thought that I would make it on time, and that I had nothing to worry about. I relented with a Yep!

Rearrange with consultation

Arriving at the reception, the secretary, her eyelashes would put the brushes on a street sweeper to shame told me my schedule had changed for tomorrow, putting my session back more than four hours. I have no issues with rescheduling, but as they have various means of contacting me, they should have called to inform me of the development.

We all do make other related or different arrangements and adjustments, even if we are giving priority to treatment, it is outside their absolute discretion to rearrange calendars and schedules without consultation with the patient.

On demand, sod off

Moving on to the waiting room, I was asked to do a micro-enema though I had a bowel movement this morning and to pass urine. This Shit-on-Demand (SoD) or Piss-on-Demand (PoD) requirement rarely works except if you are of a highly nervous disposition. The bowels refused to budge and after much strain, the bladder did empty.

At one point I could have broken out in a nursery rhyme, Goosey Goosey Gander came to mind. Where shall I wander before this presumably old man is taken by the left leg and thrown back into the gents to relieve himself under duress?

Positioned for radiation

My concern was about keeping track of my prostate if neither bowel nor bladder could be evacuated. As I took off my jacket, and my shoes and pulled down my trousers to lie on the hard bed of the linear accelerator (linac), I was told there was always a scan before the photon beam unleashed its deathly rays on my prostate. Aha! All concerns dealt with.

We were using Image Guided Radiotherapy (IGRT) [Cancer Research UK: IGRT]

I was positioned and centred on the bed before the machine began to whirl around me, hands on chest, breathing slowly, sometimes muttering in tongues, and about 10 minutes later, the radiographers returned to the room to set me off on my way.

We discussed the possible side effects for later in the treatment schedule and what times I would find convenient to attend my radiotherapy session. Hardly eventful, easy and painless, that is one down, nineteen to go.

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Blog - Men's things - X

Blog - Men's things - XI