Photons on the Prostate - VII

Whether the weather

My radiotherapy session which was planned for much later when my scheduling sheet was filled last Monday had been brought forward three hours on my Thursday visit.

This did not make it any more convenient because Manchester was under the generous sprinkling of torrential rain and rain in the UK is so alien to us, traffic literally stops and puddles become lakes with cars aquaplaning like speedboats. Well, drop the speed part, my Uber had to swerve off the road for a filling of petrol.

You may wonder why I have resorted to getting myself to and from the hospital by bus or Uber when I had the pleasure of friends chauffeuring me there for the full week of the one before the last. I appreciate everyone wants to help, we are all full of amazingly good intentions that we express with urgency and a seeming willingness to do as we ask others to make that demand on us.

Yet, we are rather busy people and much as we would bend over backwards to help, we do have other things to do that are important, urgent, ordered, scheduled, or impromptu. An apology reaches our lips suffused with concerning equanimity as we deliver disappointment with the expectation that alternatives are readily available. The truth; is there are no alternatives, and people who have relied on us are being let down gently, kindly, and sadly.

Just do your thing

It becomes a logistical nightmare for the person being helped between knowing an arrangement is firm to scurrying to make your appointment because of unforeseen circumstances, and a situation totally out of your control because of the reliance on others. You feel worse for feeling bad for their feeling sad that they cannot help. The same people who insisted they would drop everything and blue-light you to the hospital rather than see you struggle on a bus or pay a king’s ransom for a taxicab.

It's just better to make your own arrangements and anything that comes in to alleviate the situation rather than encumber it is a bonus. Decline the offers promptly rather than be beholden and reliant on the accompanying stress that comes with things not going to plan. It is hard enough doing things on your own, but you know you are setting the agenda and doing things your way.

Seeing our future in one

On arrival at the hospital, I was assigned another suite, the fifth I have attended in 13 visits. I first sat in front of a family of four, and then I needed a little powdering of my nose in the ladies’ room. It’s got a mirror, and I can adjust my day cravat, I forgot my lipstick. When I returned, my original seat was occupied, so I chose a seat at the back.

My appointment time came, but there was going to be a longer wait, two other people were called in, and then out of the family of four, the older man stood up, those accompanying him were his wife, his daughter and his son. His adult son called him and gave him a big hug and he walked in and gave the staff a box of chocolates, it was his last radiotherapy session.

What a triumph over adversity as they flung wide the double doors for him to walk out to the camera phones held up by his family, it calls for a celebration. He wished the rest of the waiting room good luck as I urged him to go and ring that bell for victory. I did not hear the bell as was called into the suite.

Number thirteen done

We had a student who asked if it was okay to be present, I obliged without any fuss, we need students as much as we need professionals showing them the practicalities of what is involved, and she attends my alma mater university. One of the transparent derma patches needed changing to preserve the tattoo marking, a job I have always left to the personnel because they include markings before taping.

I took the bus back into the town centre because I needed to top up my supply of cranberry juice which eased that stinging urethra issue. Another one of those situations where you only get to tap on good intentions once before it becomes a chore for them.

Yet, people never fully understand why for times like this and during recuperation, having time with your partner and them being available to help is always a labour of love done with every desire to see you well and a joy to them that they can be doing something effective, effectual, and productive. Until you know, you never really know.

Blog - Photons on the Prostate - VIII

Blog - Photons on the Prostate - VI

Blog - Men's things