In fatigues in fatigue
It is now 15 days since the end of my radiotherapy
treatment for prostate cancer, I do feel I am well on the recovery path, though
the side effects are still screaming in my system in ways that are difficult to
ignore.
Two things remain a feature of this situation: fatigue
that modulates my voice on a spectrum from the prepubescent choir boy to the
softly spoken young adult. I had forgotten the sound of my natural voice before
I commenced treatment. My walks to the surgery and the corner shop lack
coordination, as do my stumbling, a speedy canter with short strides.
That urge you dread
The waterworks, still frequent and urgent, straining to
start and not completely emptying, on rereading the medication leaflet, I
should have been prescribed this long before treatment began because an
enlarged prostate already constricts the urethra, my IPSS score was 19, and
radiotherapy was both going to inflame the prostate gland as much as irritate
the inner lining of my urinary tract.
I had unnecessarily suffered for weeks until it was
unbearable, and the burning feeling has eased a bit, but every urge to pass
water is met with trepidation and discomfort. You have to do what you have to
do.
On the voice part, my colleagues suggested I appear in
full regalia for a drag show, shoes included, and they do not come cheap. Like
honestly? Anyway, how else do you get through this without a lot of humour and
hope? A future appointment is just five months hence, I might need a long break
soon.
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