Thought Picnic: Resilience in adversity

Rich in experiences

As I stood outside my apartment a few weeks ago waiting to be given a lift to one of my radiotherapy sessions, a man I did not immediately recognise approached me and introduced himself as one of the estate agents who used to manage my property. He asked how I was, and a short conversation ensued.

I informed him as my voice was weak that I was taking treatment for prostate cancer, and he must have wondered how much misfortune can befall a man? For a time, I was out of work and then found work that was essentially a zero-hours contract, highly paid, but no hours to book, for I was assigned no projects.

Being behind on my rent, the estate agent did everything to lure me out of my sense of independence to seek entitlements from the state. It was humbling but I put myself into it, attended every appointment, and dressed up properly in a suit and tie that they considered taking a picture of me as an example of how to appear at the job centre.

Keeping on in crisis

Things were tight, but the little that came in helped to keep a roof over my head even with the threat of ejection looming sometimes too close for comfort. I kept looking forward, availing myself of opportunities to enter gainful employment along with the possible transition from being self-employed after over 20 years to becoming an employee.

For months, I was putting in so many applications for jobs with no responses, my resume had many iterations and editions, even as experts opined that my original profile was good enough. In the meantime, I had suffered a crisis of confidence and unfortunately, some of whom I hoped to buoy me up in those low times also began to lose faith in me.

My partner and my best friend were the constant cheerleaders through these dark times and sadly if one were to be honest, I could not even rely on my mother for that kind of support. To those whose close relationship in bad times became evidently transactional, they were not heard from because what they relied on no more supplied the largesse they had grown used to.

Be relentless regardless

It was tough but I was unbowed, showed up where I needed to, was enthusiastic about things I never gave my mind to, tried things I never considered doing before and began to find a new sense of purpose, drive, and direction. I owe that spirit of resilience to my faith, many examples impactful or basic, from sometimes uncommon places and people.

You can post six hundred applications for jobs, but you must keep posting until you get one and it is just one where someone sees a lot more in your profile than pertains and is ready to find out how interesting a person you are. Indeed, I did post that many applications and had to document them as part of my commitments that secured my state entitlements. You cannot relent.

Live your human story well

Adversity will always be part of man's experience; it becomes part of our stories, but the difference is in how we face such circumstances to determine how we are affected by them. Whatever the estate agent might have thought about my situation, I was living it and decidedly dealing with it.

Cancer was discovered, treatments discussed, and radiotherapy was selected. Get on with it and look back at it in time as part of your human story.

I count my blessings and refuse to dwell on the problems, they will pass, and much will be learnt in understanding where to place one’s confidence and trust. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.” [Bible Hub: Psalm 34:19 (NLT)]