It comes in a can

How Condensed Milk is Made in Factory | Step by Step Process

WhatsApp is eavesdropping on us

I got home from work this evening and switched on my smart television to watch YouTube to understand the news of the past few days from the comedic genius of late-night show hosts.

There is no way the news can be taken in neat from the new channels with their rolling and interminable analysis of analyses and the postulations over bizarre prognostications, the chaos from the calico bunker on Pennsylvania Avenue already puts the earth’s rotation in a wobble, only humour keeps the stress at bay.

What showed up first on my list of suggestions to playback was titled, “How Condensed Milk is Made in Factory | Step by Step Process”, that was quite scary, yet an interesting first 7 minutes of information before moving on to the production of other mass manufactured goods.

Different milks for different folks

You would recall that last week I wrote about the sleight of hand that had opened and poured the milk I brought in without me noticing as I made tea and put in some sugar. My milk was all gone by Friday morning, indicating that someone or some people do prefer whole milk over semi-skimmed milk. Whole milk is unmistakable, it has a blue cap on the bottle, semi-skimmed milk has a green cap, and skimmed milk has a red cap.

Blog - Just milking the milk

Today, rather than suffer the privation of milk by the end of the week, I bought a larger bottle of milk, our office manager even offered to have the bottle marked as private in a public access fridge, I declined as I hoped there would be much left for us to use. If that optimistic expectation fails, I might take her up on that offer.

Condensed to irrelevance

I was relating the situation to Brian as we had our regular morning chat, first by audio as I walk to the office and then switching to video on WhatsApp when at my desk, when he talked of getting condensed milk. What an opportunity to relate one of the seminal moments of my boarding school experience.

I bought condensed milk with some bread and was walking towards the field in front of the staff room, and behold my tall and almost gangly aunt, my mother’s big sister of blessed memory, had come to visit. Seeing my goods, with such dismissive disdain, she said, Ọmọ fish and chip (child of fish and chip), which would never have been the staple of Nigerians studying abroad, but for the unacculturated deviance of their kids born there. It was as cutting and hurtful as being slapped across the face, even the condensed milk lost its sweet taste after that encounter.

Whatever Brian wanted condensed milk for which I cannot remember I have had again since that unfortunate meeting, he chose to excoriate me for having condensed milk with bread when he planned to get can of condensed milk, punch a hole or slit in the top of the can, and suck out the gooey stuff like a suckling child. Just the temerity of the accusation.

It comes in a can

Indeed, it comes in a can, and one other can I do have an affinity for is evaporated milk, which goes well on my custard and in caffeinated coffee that I have barely had for almost six months. That taste returned when I was in the Netherlands, for they have a version of evaporated milk called koffie melk, milk for coffee, and it works for filter coffee better than other types of milk.

Most of the common brands now come with a tab to rip off the lid, and the cost of those cans has doubled or tripled in the supermarkets nearby. Only one other supermarket retains a reasonable price with the cans indicating two opposite depressions to make holes for the milk to be poured out freely.

Koffie melk usually comes in a carton or a glass bottle, the pasteurised cow’s milk comes mainly in plastic containers except from long life milk in cartons, evaporated milk in tins, and well, condensed milk in hermetically sealed cans, you might need a chisel and hammer to get to the contents and who better to give all muscle to the can, than you know who.

Someone is eavesdropping with AI transcription

As for the YouTube video I was presented with, we only had a conversation on WhatsApp, I fear WhatsApp with its AI mechanisms was eavesdropping on our conversation and it presented the topic of our conversation to YouTube. It was no coincidence, and we never searched for anything regarding condensed milk during or after that conversation.

The history of condensed milk goes back to France in 1820, England in 1835 with sugar as a preservative, but the successful commercialisation of the process came in 1865 in the United States after the proprietor visited England.